Self-publishing a book is a complex process, takes a team and lot of patience. And this latter is the biggest test. I am not relying on a publishing house but taking the challenge to put my and my team's effort, to work with independent photographer, designer and editor, to be a part of the process (in various depth of involvement) even after my part is done.

What I noticed is that after my part - to write the actual content - was done the following questions started to pop up in my mind:

How will the print version look?

Will everyone else in my team keep deadlines?

How will the book launch go?

Who all will attend it?

What will I say to introduce it?

Who will read it anyways?....

You might be thinking that this stress is a total waste of time and I 100% agree with you! As much as it is normal to have a certain level of anxiety when launching a book, I know that it is also an act of conscious detachment, letting go, talking myself out of the stress on an everyday basis.

In such an hour of test what helps me the most is saying, "Idam na mama" which means "this is not mine". I offer my acts of ignorance and virtue to the lineage of realized beings. This has been a life saver for me.

Idam: This

Na: Not

Mama: Mine

The two terms practice (abhyasa) and detachment (vairagya) are considered to be to the heart and soul of Yoga philosophy.

Abhyasa means practice, not just a one hour practice but living a life of practice. Consistent, dedicated, sincere efforts we put in everyday, every moment, every situation to be a better version of ourselves. We can understand it something like this: even our smartphone reminds us of updates to fix bugs, errors and update itself to the latest version to be smarter than yesterday. Yet we insist in remaining the same. Abhyasa is the recognition that something needs to change to learn, grow and progress.

Vairagya is the act of detachment from the fruits of action, rising beyond the attachments and aversions. It is not easy. In fact most of the time we work towards and for a specific goal. It is the vision of the goal that inspires us, keeps us moving. Vairagya seems logical because it will protect us from disappointment and the pain of unfulfilled expectations.

I learnt about these two terms in my twenties, and I have to tell you, there is a huge difference between learning a term, being able to intellectually speak on it and living it.

My test on where I stand on these two is in progress.

My teacher used to say that when the meaning of same words change with time, you are growing. Vairagya (practice) and abhyasa (detachement) have a new meaning for me today as a result of this journey. I know everything has its own dharma to live. The book will also be released very soon, in April. It is right around the corner and I feel very pregnant :)

May we all learn to offer our fruits of action to the lineage of the realized beings. May we learn to simply do our actions with complete dedication and surrender all our expectations and doubts. May we all say, "Idam na mama" with the knowing that it really is not ours. We came in this world with nothing and we shall also leave with nothing.

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